


Curse

by Zharena



Category: AI: The Somnium Files (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:07:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21814156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zharena/pseuds/Zharena
Summary: Sometimes, Iris looks too much like Manaka.
Relationships: Sagan Hitomi & Sagan Iris
Comments: 6
Kudos: 48





	Curse

**Author's Note:**

> what's up everyone who's ready for some hitomi angst

Iris looks nearly identical to her best friend. Her hair is a little lighter and she doesn’t carry herself quite the same way, but all Hitomi can see is Manaka. She tries not to think about it on a day-to-day basis, tries to bury those memories of her death in the grave they left behind in the forest but inevitably, they find a way to dig their way back out. 

She knows Renju thinks about it, too, thinks about it in all the favors he does for Iris, thinks about it whenever he checks in with Hitomi to make sure she’s still doing okay. Hitomi loves Renju - he’s been a good friend and has given them so much support over the years - but she can’t help but feel jealous of him. Sure, he has the warehouse to guard, but he has enough charisma and connections to keep that covered up with relative ease. He doesn’t have to deal with seeing their murdered friend’s face every day around the house, with seeing that look of determination in Iris’s eyes that reminds Hitomi so much of her. 

Iris is her entire world, but sometimes it’s hard to remember that Iris is her  _ daughter  _ and not the ghost of her best friend. She wonders if torturing herself with those thoughts is the punishment she endures for hiding her friend’s body all those years ago. If everything she’s endured is.

She squeezes the wrist of her bad arm and listens as Iris chatters eagerly in her room - she must be streaming again, despite Hitomi encouraging her to go to sleep hours ago. They have an early day tomorrow, an appointment at the hospital where hopefully, they’ll finally find out what’s going on with her. And despite Iris not listening tonight, she can’t find it in herself to be angry or frustrated, not with how her daughter’s health has been. Iris is happy, and If it means not listening to her mother, that’s fine for now. She’d rather hear her infectious laughter through the walls of the house and cherish that same mesmerizing energy that her best friend had.

She bites her lip, presses her good hand to her eyes and rubs the tears away before they can fall, wondering how her life would have gone if Manaka had survived all those years ago. If she had been around to watch her daughter grow up, if Hitomi would have still been involved in her upbringing. 

If the girl’s name would have even been Iris.

That’s when Hitomi glances at the drawing on the wall and realizes there’s something about that other universe, the world where she doesn’t raise her that makes her heart hurt, too. She curses at herself for being selfish, for thinking about her own life when Manaka’s death was so brutal and unfair, but she hopes her friend will forgive her for that feeling that crosses her mind. For being human.

Maybe that’s why Iris has been collapsing and losing control of her hands. Maybe Manaka sensed this realization coming ahead of time. Maybe she’s angry at Hitomi and Renju for not doing  _ enough _ . Hitomi sniffs and gets up from the couch, walks to the framed drawing on the wall, and runs a finger down the glass, wondering if the crayon behind it is just as waxy as it was the day Iris first drew it. Unchanged, just like how she’s wished for so many things in her life to remain. 

She calls out to Iris, hiding back the anguish she’s been feeding all night. Reminds her to go to bed soon. Part of her considers taking out the wine bottle she has hidden underneath the sink, next to the basin that catches the drip from her leaking pipes, but she stops herself. She needs to be able to wake up in the morning, to function for the next storm they’ll inevitably have to brave.

If none of this is a punishment then surely, they’ll have good news tomorrow.

**Author's Note:**

> spoiler: they did not get good news :'''D  
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/zharena2)


End file.
